I’m reposting my blog titled “Learning to love white men” that I wrote a few years ago because in the aftermath of the US election, it seems a “blame white men” article is being published every five seconds and it troubles me. In my view, this is a lazy type of analysis. Categorically blaming whole segments of society lacks nuance at best and at worst, it reinforces the same problem of prejudice that needs rectifying.
Demonising white men creates more problems than solutions. I know it’s hard to find the right words to express the very real oppression that our gendered and racial identities face but if we aren’t bothered to find a language that reflects the complexity of the struggle then the solution will be simplistic.
Furthermore, many of the “blame white men” articles gloss over the fact that white women also voted for Trump in droves.To quote the ever prescient words of Audre Lorde, “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”
Solidarity with my white and black brothers and sisters and to EVERYONE on the right side of justice.
Learning to love white men – 3 November, 2011
I’d hate for my experience on earth to be lived with a heart containing animosity towards fellow human beings.
We may act like different races are different species due to the irrational inventions of some power hungry ancestors of the human race, but I don’t want that confusion to make me equally disillusioned about our shared humanity. All humans are beautiful to me.
But we live in contradictory times. While there is a growing agitation and mockery of white male privilege in liberal circles, there’s simultaneously only been a cosmetic change in power hierarchy. White men rule the world as it were, and they often do so arrogantly and with false morality, as if the big bang exploded last night. You know? Take as an example how David Cameron is threatening African countries that ban homosexuality with aid sanctions. Would his government sanction the religious institution that was economically imposed on Africa during colonialism and that largely created homophobia in the first place? It would certainly be equally morally corrupt.
Especially since age thirteen, when I moved from Nigeria to Sweden, I’ve encountered challenging dealings with white men as a group. For example, within months in my new school in Sweden, my close friend, an Egyptian girl who also edits a blog, and I were chased by a group of white supremacist extremist boys down the corridors threatening to kill us. I was terrified.
I also developed quick physically, so at that age, my adult stature attracted unwelcome attention especially from older white men. To summarise, over the years there’s been racism/sexism – subtle and overt – often sexually/racially laden from white male colleagues, schoolmates, bosses, professors and strangers.
So to be terribly honest, generally speaking there is a place inside me where I’m watching my back around white men.
It’s easier for me to have great relationships with white women. This has to do with the woman who means the most to me in this world, my mother, being white but also with our shared gender. In fact, out of all the wrongdoings of white men the worst is perhaps what they have done to their counterpart woman. This is why many 1st and 2nd wave feminists were so angry, they had millennia of extreme oppression bottled up. And as a side note, I think this is why if we don’t keep challenging sexism in Africa, there will come a point when African women will get equally mobilized and turn society upside down by doing things like they did, hunger strikes, mass protests, burning of bras (although no bras were actually burnt).
White men have contributed in many noteworthy ways to the world that I so love, through western architecture, modern infrastructure, avant garde cuisine, philosophical thought, technology… just a few examples.
It’s not going to happen in one day, but I’m going to learn to love white men in a way that means I can co exist with them without a wall in my heart, appreciatively, wholeheartedly and genuinely.
White supremacy and gender issues ran Trump’s campaign. It’s the “economy stupid” is a ‘red herring’ used rather effectively. There are always anecdotal instances that would challenge that. It’s systemic and those who buy into it are quite diverse, e.g., blacks (Omarosa to the nth degree), Latinos, poor folks, middle class whites and other people of color–foreign or domestic. The normalization of all those traits and behaviors he exhibited while running for the office, to many of us, were disconcerting (to say the least). Hillary had her issues as well but not to the degree of a Donald Trump and given our choices; I believe the American people could work with her given some basic values and she’s shown acumen over the years. There are other things I’d like to say but this has been traumatic and it is just the tip. Also, it will have awful implications not only for America but for the world. It’s far more complicated and nuanced than blaming white men.
I will continue to assess and work through what we’ve just witnessed and undergone after a break. So many of us need it!
Gratitude big sis. I’m feeling traumatised and I’m in London (well, Hong Kong at the moment), so I can only begin to imagine how depressing it is for you all in the states. Solidarity and Love.
You know, it’s almost as if the entire world IS NOT AMERICA. You people are so self centered!
Thank you for sharing experiences from the US, from where much of the rhetoric has developed. I want to be clear that I by no means am arguing against speaking out about racism. I’m only opposed to the phrase ‘white men’ being lazily used as a replacement for ‘systematic racism’, ‘institutionalised oppression’, ‘white supremacist and androcratic warfare’, to give some examples of what often uderlies the phrase. I’m opposed to it precisely because it detours from an actual discussion about racism. It’s too easy a phrase to employ, Our critiques of the racist systems we are forced to live in would be more cutting and powerful if we took the effort to formulate our grievances with greater care and biting accuracy.
UPDATE: The original comment was deleted at the author’s request but I’ve left my response for further context.
Sorry, I’ve been lazy here but this was the first opportunity to ask you what do you think about the social culture in England? Saw you on University Challenge earlier but only saw the last ten minutes or so and didn’t see you answer a question. Hope you did 🙂
So in summation the article tells us to not blame white men, blame white women and blame white men. The author is extremely racist plain and simple. Not to mention the author seems to have zero understanding of the geopolitical climate of the planet or how extremely few white men (only the tiniest 1% of 1% of the wealthiest) have any actual power and its all contained to a few western countries.
Lets pretend all of Asia, Africa, South America, Eastern Europe, and India just do not exist or the facts that whites are raped, tortured, killed, and of course oppressed in three quarters of the world. As a dark skinned, Muslim-born, who has traveled the world and more important; gets facts from legitimate sources and not gender studies courses and leftist websites out for any easy buck from the gullible, I am amazed at the sheer hatred and racism in this despicable article. The author has done nothing but spread easily debunked lies and hate.
Large govt and the rich are always creating descent in the general public. So we fight with each other instead of fighting them for better pay or better working conditions. Sexism racism are all real but most people I know are good people. We keep falling for the injustices created by news medias and govt and fight each other. The rich yous are real estate marcket like gambiling websites. Making it difficult for the average person to buy a house.