• Home
  • Bio
  • Media
    • Read
    • Watch/Listen
  • Speaking
  • Work with me
  • Contact

MsAfropolitan

FEMINISM. PAN-AFRICA. SOCIAL CRITICISM. DIASPORA. CULTURE.

  • feminism
  • Africa
  • Pop Culture
  • Social Criticism
  • decolonisation
  • Afropolitanism
  • seven
  • Sensuous Knowledge
    • Sensuous Knowledge references and recommended reading
    • International
    • Sensuous Knowledge news
  • Other Books
  • The MsAfropolitan Philosophy Book Club @ Waterstones

7 ways that women are oppressed without knowing it

March 8, 2015 By MsAfropolitan 14 Comments

KRUGER-3

I will live but that is all that I will do for patriarchy, is my conscientious feminist motto. It is not always an easy task for women, however, because society constantly tries to diminish feminist consciousness by encouraging women to redefine rather than, remove, oppression. For instance, rather than embolden legal action against rape, women are encouraged to alter their behaviour to avoid being raped. This is an example of the more obvious ways in which male supremacy oppresses women. However, some of the ways that it operates are not as easily perceived. Here are seven examples.

Makes you feel invisible – You are the only woman in a social setting and you feel invisible, not because you are crouching in a corner wearing a camouflage outfit but because whenever you say something no one seems to hear you as they do not respond let alone acknowledge that you spoke.

Makes you feel ashamed – You are, again, in a social setting, this time a mixed gender- but nevertheless ‘testostereneal’ one. You have not suggested that you and your friends or colleagues ought to have an orgy on the spot, but rather you felt compelled to share that you enjoy the particular company that you are in. But you might as well have proposed the orgy because at least then they would have had reason to react as though you said something to be madly ashamed of.

Makes you think that sex with men is always great – You have watched yet another movie (mainstream porn is high-risk), read yet another book (male authors are more likely to trigger) or read yet another survey (again, check gender of researchers), which depicts heterosexual sex as commonly and automatically satisfying. Meaning that something must be wrong with you because looking back at your sexual experiences, you have encountered at least one guy who lasted the duration of a sneeze and then fell asleep, one who seemed confused about the locations of your vagina and your anus, and one, who not only thought it, but actually suggested that he would enjoy urinating on you.

Makes you think motherhood is a joyride – It occurs to you, just as you arrive from the labour ward, new baby in tow, that you have made the biggest mistake of your life. Realising that you do not have a 30-day-guarantee and nor are you eligible for a full refund (your body and some sleep), you panic, staring at the alien, if wonderful, being that is your very own child. Deep down inside, you know that you are having those rather misfitting thoughts simply because you are fatigued, having after all squeezed out a human being from a small orifice in your body, and also because you are scared to death of the responsibilities ahead of you. In other words, congratulations, you are a human being. But nobody else seems to feel the way that you do. The doctors certainly never warned you of such sentiments, so instead you start worrying how your beautiful baby will fare with a bad, bad mother like you.

Makes you feel like a commodity – You walk past a strip club and feel your sense of worth drop 1) because you are reminded that you live in a society where women are presented like grilled pigs on display in the windows of restaurants in China Town and 2) because the men who whirr around strip clubs like restless drones are some of the lowest of the lowest scum of the earth especially wont to street harassment (and worse!) despite, or maybe because of, having easy access to naked, gyrating women and thus cannot get their facile little minds to understand that this does not mean that they have access to every woman, period. Nevertheless, despite points 1 & 2 you somehow manage to convince yourself that strip teasing in that kind of sleazy, misogynist environment may somehow mind-bogglingly be empowering because, well, everyone else seems to think strip teasing is about girl power! (I do not, by the way, believe that strip clubs are loathsome because I am opposed to sexual titillation. In contrast, I think our society is not erotic enough. But because our idea of eroticism is so astonishingly warped, strip joints are perversely uncomfortable sites for a woman to stroll past.)

Makes you think your desire for affection is needy – You are in a relationship and you feel unloved. So you have gotten into the unbecoming habit of asking your partner if they still love you, to which you receive a response along the lines of “For god’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you. Yeah, yeah, I love you, OK, now leave me alone!!” Consequently, rather than feel loved, you feel needy and insecure as anyone living with a mini-tyrant would. Alas, you do not perceive it that way. You have sadly not understood that in a functional relationship, you do not need to beg to be loved.

Makes you feel like your intellectual contributions are petty – This one is personal! On more than one occasion, I have found myself in situations – panel discussions, literary events, etc. – where some smart ass asks about my motivation behind writing a “fashion blog”. While I myself do not view fashion blogs as petty, at least not all of them, I can tell that the person asking the question does, and that their intent is to diminish the gravitas of my writing. 

On that note, I wrote this post because sometimes as a woman out there in the world, you are bound to think you are crazy for feeling the absolutely normal way that you do. Subsequently you might pretend that you don’t think you’re crazy because nobody else seems to be talking about the things that you think make you crazy. Confusing, right? Put it this way, it is important to be vigilant of the myriad ways that oppression works because it is, then, much easier to challenge them. Also, writing a seven series post is an International Women’s Day tradition on the blog.

Happy & powerful women’s day!

Any thoughts about oppression, or any of the points raised?

Image is Barbara Kruger’s Belief+Doubt, 2012. 

Filed Under: feminism, seven, Social Criticism Tagged With: #IWD, conscientious feminism, feminism, gallery, international women's day, International Women's Month, oppression, women

Comments

  1. MsAfropolitan says

    May 20, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    TT, apologies, I only saw your comment by chance now. Thank you for it, it’s a treat to receive such an engaging response.

    You wrote, “I feel that the central issue is bullying.” This is key. while the points that you raise all carry weight, the issue here as implied by the title is systemic oppression or what you refer to as bullying. It’s one thing that men and women are e.g. oiled up, as you wrote, but a man walking past a male strip joint (and let’s face it, how many are there really) does not have to additionally deal with female harassment. It is the patterns in the oppression and bullying that are the most damning.

    Reply
  2. MrRabbit says

    September 23, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    Self proclaimed Feminists do not own the word, meaning and pain of rape. If you are upset by this you should check your privilege. And try to take an unbiased look at all rape victims.

    Reply
  3. notyourgrandmother says

    January 14, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    Nothing mentioned here is an example of oppression.

    Reply
  4. Pamps says

    July 8, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    This article addresses everyday social shortcomings that are two sided. It ignores the fact that men run into these same social scenarios that are exemplified in this a

    Reply
  5. Pamps says

    July 8, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    article. The difference here is that some men, definitely not all men, are comfortable enough with themselves to shrug it off and forget about it. Social injustice progresses society towards limiting speech which is not good for any society. Political views can be a fair basis to charge someone you don’t like. If less people put all their heart and effort into getting angry over an injustice demonstrated through someone else’s free speech, America will be more successful. If I got mad over little derogatory comment someone made to me on a daily basis then I would become an angry individual. The best option is to shrug it off and realize that true happiness comes from your own brain and shouldn’t be influenced by others words or actions. When someone can ignore all the thoughts, words and actions of others, that someone will be in a much better place than those who are outraged by someone calling them fat. Sensitivity does not allow for a thriving humanity.

    Reply
  6. MeoWoof says

    July 28, 2016 at 8:51 am

    as a man i can assure whoever reading this. this happens to men too. so men are “oppressed”

    too, yet the article only mention women as if its specifically to women

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Women 2017 Blog says:
    January 1, 2017 at 6:32 am

    Women 7 Days 7 Ways

    […] gy on the spot, but rather you felt compelled to share that you enjoy the parti […]

    Reply
  2. Jacket Blog says:
    January 19, 2017 at 9:47 am

    Women 7 Days 7 Ways

    […] the particular company that you are in. But you might as well have proposed the […]

    Reply
  3. An open letter to my little sisters – A Classy Conservative says:
    February 3, 2017 at 7:06 am

    […] wants you to live up to your full potential. In fact, some people will tell you that you’re oppressed and you’re a second class citizen because of your gender. Don’t listen to them. Women have […]

    Reply
  4. Graphic Blog says:
    March 23, 2017 at 7:10 am

    Women 7 Days 7 Ways

    […] ght as well have proposed the orgy because at least then they would have had re […]

    Reply
  5. Flannel Blog says:
    March 30, 2017 at 6:00 am

    Women 7 Days 7 Ways

    […] then they would have had reason to react as though you said something to be mad […]

    Reply
  6. 7 ways that women are oppressed without knowing it - 2 Feet Africa says:
    April 19, 2017 at 5:05 am

    […] This article first appeared on Afropolitan […]

    Reply
  7. Built Blog says:
    April 27, 2017 at 2:57 am

    Women 7 Days 7 Ways

    […] y would have had reason to react as though you said something to be madly asha […]

    Reply
  8. Casual Blog says:
    May 27, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    Fight Fashion Oppression And Make

    […] lt compelled to share that you enjoy the particular company that you are in. Bu […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Feminism. Africa. Popular Culture. Social Criticism.

Hi! I'm Minna Salami, I'm a Nigerian-Finnish and Swedish writer and social critic, and the founder of the multiple award-winning blog, MsAfropolitan, which connects feminism with critical reflections on contemporary culture from an Africa-centred perspective. As a lecturer and keynote speaker, I have spoken at over 300 universities, cultural events and conferences, on five continents. I am the author of "Sensuous Knowledge: A Black Feminist Approach for Everyone - a collection of thought provoking essays that explore questions central to how we see ourselves, our history, and our world." (Harper Collins US) Read full bio

View My Blog Posts

Follow My social media

Visit Us On InstagramVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On FacebookCheck Our Feed

Subscribe to my newsletter

* indicates required

An African Feminist mixtape

Essay: Oyalogy – A poetic approach to African feminism through Yoruba mythology

ESSAY: A brief history of African feminism

ESSAY: A brief history of African feminism

VIDEO: TEDxTalk – To change the world, change your illusions

VIDEO: TEDxTalk – To change the world, change your illusions

VIDEO: ARISE TV TALKING AFRICA INTERVIEW

VIDEO: ARISE TV TALKING AFRICA INTERVIEW

Recent Comments

  • Evgen on There were no matriarchies in precolonial Africa
  • ทางเข้าเล่น joker on The challenge for western feminism in the 21st century
  • Schües on On Abortion
  • AneM on Polygamy in Africa has little to do with sex
  • Khalifa on Polygamy in Africa has little to do with sex

Sensuous Knowledge – Get the book (US version)

Sensuous Knowledge – Get the book (UK version)

Archives

  • August 2022 (4)
  • May 2022 (1)
  • January 2022 (2)
  • December 2021 (1)
  • August 2021 (1)
  • May 2021 (5)
  • April 2021 (3)
  • March 2021 (4)
  • December 2020 (1)
  • October 2020 (1)
  • September 2020 (3)
  • May 2020 (1)
  • April 2020 (2)
  • March 2020 (4)
  • February 2020 (2)
  • January 2020 (1)
  • December 2019 (1)
  • November 2019 (1)
  • July 2019 (1)
  • May 2019 (1)
  • March 2019 (4)
  • February 2019 (1)
  • December 2018 (2)
  • November 2018 (1)
  • October 2018 (2)
  • August 2018 (1)
  • July 2018 (2)
  • June 2018 (2)
  • May 2018 (2)
  • March 2018 (2)
  • February 2018 (2)
  • January 2018 (1)
  • December 2017 (1)
  • November 2017 (1)
  • October 2017 (2)
  • September 2017 (3)
  • August 2017 (6)
  • July 2017 (1)
  • June 2017 (3)
  • May 2017 (6)
  • March 2017 (2)
  • February 2017 (3)
  • January 2017 (2)
  • December 2016 (1)
  • November 2016 (3)
  • October 2016 (3)
  • September 2016 (2)
  • August 2016 (2)
  • July 2016 (2)
  • June 2016 (1)
  • May 2016 (3)
  • April 2016 (1)
  • March 2016 (2)
  • February 2016 (2)
  • January 2016 (3)
  • December 2015 (2)
  • November 2015 (3)
  • October 2015 (4)
  • September 2015 (4)
  • August 2015 (3)
  • July 2015 (2)
  • June 2015 (3)
  • May 2015 (4)
  • April 2015 (4)
  • March 2015 (10)
  • February 2015 (4)
  • December 2014 (3)
  • November 2014 (5)
  • October 2014 (1)
  • September 2014 (2)
  • August 2014 (4)
  • July 2014 (3)
  • June 2014 (3)
  • May 2014 (5)
  • April 2014 (4)
  • March 2014 (2)
  • February 2014 (4)
  • January 2014 (3)
  • December 2013 (3)
  • November 2013 (4)
  • October 2013 (3)
  • September 2013 (4)
  • August 2013 (5)
  • July 2013 (4)
  • June 2013 (4)
  • May 2013 (6)
  • April 2013 (3)
  • March 2013 (7)
  • February 2013 (3)
  • January 2013 (5)
  • December 2012 (4)
  • November 2012 (9)
  • October 2012 (8)
  • September 2012 (4)
  • August 2012 (6)
  • July 2012 (6)
  • June 2012 (5)
  • May 2012 (8)
  • April 2012 (7)
  • March 2012 (5)
  • February 2012 (4)
  • January 2012 (6)
  • December 2011 (5)
  • November 2011 (6)
  • October 2011 (6)
  • September 2011 (8)
  • August 2011 (6)
  • July 2011 (5)
  • June 2011 (5)
  • May 2011 (5)
  • April 2011 (4)
  • March 2011 (7)
  • February 2011 (6)
  • January 2011 (7)
  • December 2010 (5)
  • November 2010 (9)
  • October 2010 (7)
  • September 2010 (5)
  • August 2010 (4)
  • July 2010 (6)
  • June 2010 (5)
  • May 2010 (3)
  • April 2010 (3)
  • March 2010 (1)

more articles

A Historical Overview of African Feminist Strands

August 24, 2022 By MsAfropolitan 3 Comments

… [Continue Reading...]

On Abortion

August 23, 2022 By MsAfropolitan 1 Comment

… [Continue Reading...]

Privacy Policy

https://msafropolitan.com/gdpr

Copyright MsAfropolitan © 2023