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7 ways to love yourself more in 2011

January 1, 2011 By MsAfropolitan 17 Comments

© Aiste Lei

The year is 2011. I’m at home in Lagos, Nigeria. I feel excited about the year to come. I always feel excited about a new year, there is always a chance for more of everything, that’s what I like about it. I’m thinking about 2010, the people I met, what I learnt, what I (still) didn’t learn. 2010 was fantastic, I feel grateful for it in a magnanimous way. I’m reflective, I always am on January 1st. There were bombs in the capital of Nigeria, Abuja, last night. This happened whilst I was at a NYE party in Lagos enjoying fireworks and champagne after excessive prayers. We do religion excessively in Nigeria. Early this morning I prayed more with some imams. I did that despite that I had too much champagne last night and although I’m not religious. I’m culturally programmed to prefer praying at home than at a party. There were bombs in Alexandria too. There was good news too though, Brazil’s first female president took office today. This is good newsfor women and for those of us that get excited about news that balances the world and of course for those that recognize the salience in Rousseff’s presidency. Hope you all had a blissful first day of 2011. I don’t have any resolutions this year, none that aren’t ongoing. Like for example these seven.

1. Learn how to listen to your intuition
Don’t be afraid to listen to your gut even if it seems to be saying outrageous stuff. Listen to the signs that tell you how you feel about things; graciousness lies in the connection between intuition and action.

2. Learn how to accept your looks
Everyone has days when they are dissatisfied with their looks. It’s part of human nature, often as a sign that we are neglecting either our mental or physical health, to occasionally feel unattractive. Accepting your looks, is a different matter however, and a trait, which will do more for you than any magic potion or surgery can.

3. Learn how to take care of your body
Your body is your temple; it is the capsule of your soul and mind. Communicate with it, by observing what makes you feel healthy, and strong. Remember that a body, which does not exercise, is a body not fulfilling its function.

4. Learn how to manage your finances
Whether you can afford a professional bookkeeper or not, staying on top of your personal in- and outgoings is crucial to your confidence. As an independent person you came into this world alone, and to be frank, you will leave it alone. Don’t leave something as important as your finances in the hands of another person.

5. Learn how to be kind
As much as we are independent, we are also co-dependent. We need other people in all elements of life, from daily service transactions to friends that we can share our lives with. Kindness is therefore a key to a happy life. As you do upon others, so will be done upon you.

6. Learn how to enjoy sex
Female sexuality is one of the most misunderstood topics of our time. There still seems to be this idea that women enjoy sex less than men. It’s easier to fall into believing that kind of myth if you don’t claim ownership of your body, nobody else can dictate what should turn you on or not.

7. Learn how to communicate with God
Whatever form of spirituality you choose, seek to use it fully to develop an individual relationship with god. Most religions are centered around the masculine. Therefore, seek also feminine attributes to your faith, learn how to use and connect with the divine, strong feminine. Even if you are a man.

Filed Under: seven, Social Criticism Tagged With: happiness, Islam, Life, Religion, Spirituality, women's issues

Comments

  1. Waiki says

    January 1, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    Thank you for another great post! This year, I’ve personally decided to take number 3, 4, 6 and 7 very (or more) seriously.
    What a gorgeous picture O_O

    Reply
  2. Agnes Kuye says

    January 2, 2011 at 12:26 am

    I like this intro into 2011, ‘a lot’…Very refreshing.
    1, 3 & 7 are at the top of my list…

    Great post, to be revisited with my ‘objectives set’ for this year.

    ( RIP to all the people who lost family & friends in the Abuja bomb blasts) *shocking*.

    Reply
  3. Dave McInerney says

    January 2, 2011 at 11:25 am

    I would not be so sure of Rousseff’s presidency, and of it being a good thing for women, she is known as the Iron Lady, and the world is still feeling the effects of the last Iron Lady. These women feel that to succeed in the male dominated world of politics that they need to be tougher and harder that most men, and that they should only display their male characteristics this should not be the case, if we are to have women leaders why not have ones that possess what is best in humans both male and female and not just a hard man in a woman’s body?

    Reply
    • MsAfropolitan says

      January 14, 2011 at 2:35 pm

      I read somewhere that Rousseff herself hates the term Iron Lady…

      Reply
  4. Dave McInerney says

    January 2, 2011 at 11:26 am

    I also love the photo

    Reply
  5. MBA says

    January 2, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    I am thankful I virtually met you in 2010. You have such wisdom it is a pleasure to read and learn from you! Your 7 ongoing resolutions are right on the money. They are more than resolutions they are a lifestyle 🙂

    Beautiful photo, you are clearing endeavouring to live your life by loving yourself!

    Reply
    • MsAfropolitan says

      January 14, 2011 at 2:37 pm

      *bows in gratitude, big hug*

      Reply
  6. teachermrw says

    January 3, 2011 at 2:45 am

    Each of the seven resonated very strongly with me, and may well serve as my resolutions for 2011 and beyond. I hope all is well with you. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Vusi Sindane says

    January 3, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Lovely pic indeed!

    Reply
  8. Ibou says

    January 4, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    A great post. Happy New Year!

    Reply
  9. Diggame says

    January 4, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    Great pointers to start the new year! Things I have thought about but its good to have them brought to the forefront of the brain

    Reply
  10. Roschelle says

    January 7, 2011 at 6:12 am

    HAPPY NEW YEAR MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER!! wonderful tips. i’m especially looking forward to perfecting #6!! 😉

    Reply
    • MsAfropolitan says

      January 14, 2011 at 2:39 pm

      toast to that 😉 lots of love!

      Reply
  11. Kimberly says

    May 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Going back and reading some of your old posts and as a women getting ready to enter her 30’s, this post was timely. Very honest, wise, and genuinely true and you reflect upon many of the thoughts that have been stirring in my head in regards to how I can truly show myself more love. Really great post.

    Reply
    • MsAfropolitan says

      May 17, 2012 at 5:15 pm

      Thanks for your comment Kimberly, glad that you found something useful in the archives and happy birthday in advance!

      Reply
  12. Maria Puyol says

    December 7, 2012 at 5:36 am

    Mina this is awesome and oh so inspiring :). You hit the nail on the head with all that you wrote.

    Reply

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  1. Vetting Men Series 5: Angry Boys Need Not Apply! « Acts of Faith In Love & Life says:
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Feminism. Africa. Popular Culture. Social Criticism.

Hi! I'm Minna Salami, I'm a Nigerian-Finnish and Swedish writer and social critic, and the founder of the multiple award-winning blog, MsAfropolitan, which connects feminism with critical reflections on contemporary culture from an Africa-centred perspective. As a lecturer and keynote speaker, I have spoken at over 300 universities, cultural events and conferences, on five continents. I am the author of "Sensuous Knowledge: A Black Feminist Approach for Everyone - a collection of thought provoking essays that explore questions central to how we see ourselves, our history, and our world." (Harper Collins US) Read full bio

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